Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
