Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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