WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
