In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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