Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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