in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
