in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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