We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
