So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
