i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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