love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
