We won't sleep together?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
