honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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