So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Terrible idea I love it
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
