ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
