I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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