Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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