it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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