Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
