awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
