I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
