They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
