Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
