I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
