My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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