Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
