I cockslap morals
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
