What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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