Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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