I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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