Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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