Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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