I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
