We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
