Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
