I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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