Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
