i wish my penis had a tongue
do herpes really smell.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
