is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
