I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
