Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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