Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
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