FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
