I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
