I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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