i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
