why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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