i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
