If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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