so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Let's get the cat blown out
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
