You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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