we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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