I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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