I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
