everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize