Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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