After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!