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• (518): View more from New York

  I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people

  Fav 14 5683 815

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.

  Fav 13 5921 1254

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?

  Fav 7 3773 1360

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (216): View more from Ohio

  i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.

  Fav 11 3148 1560

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.

  Fav 16 4186 1366

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (315): View more from New York

  im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.

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• (+57): View more from

  I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  tuscaloosa is terrifying

  (334): View more from Alabama

  like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin

  (334): View more from Alabama

  there is no mercy here

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again

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