Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
