Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
you didnt know i had herpes?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
