Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
