So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
